Microsoft made a thing. It's beautiful.

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
10/26/2016 at 23:02 • Filed to: None

Apple, eat your heart out.

DISCUSSION (38)

For Sweden > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:04

three thousand dollars

CB > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:05

I wish the display was made available on its own. Because for $3k USD (or $4.2k for the higher spec model), the display is really all it has going for it.

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:07

I wants it so much.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > For Sweden
10/26/2016 at 23:08

You can buy a mackbook more expensive than that, let alone an imac.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > CB
10/26/2016 at 23:10

High end iMacs push $4k and nobody bats an eye at buying those.

CB > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:13

Hey man, I’m with you there. Especially since, looking at the Apple website, upgrading from 8 gigs of RAM to 32 gigs costs $720 CAD. Hold on, let me laugh harder.

FromCanadaWithLove > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:21

I’m sure it’s a cool computer, but damn that ad was an Apple rip-off.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:24

Just make a custom computer. Ha, no more stereotypical prebuilts like this one!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > FromCanadaWithLove
10/26/2016 at 23:26

Remember that Macbook-air-in-an-envelope ad?:

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:56

Only took them 20 years of playing second fiddle to Apple while third parties cranked out piles of shit hardware running Windows

RyanFrew > CB
10/26/2016 at 23:57

This is bull. It’s absolutely worth $3-$4k, as much as a Porsche is worth what a Porsche is worth. Don’t be the “V6 Mustang Guy”.

RyanFrew > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/26/2016 at 23:58

As a Microsoft employee, it warms my heart to see us keep getting cooler again by pushing out legit stuff. Mmmmmm. Exciting week!

ttyymmnn > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 00:02

It’s pretty, but I’m more intrigued by the music.

CB > RyanFrew
10/27/2016 at 00:03

I’m... not trying to be? I’m just saying a display on its own for $2k would seem like a better proposition than this for $3k? Maybe I’m wording this wrong. And I don’t think cars and computers are quite analogous in this case.

Justino6969 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 00:12

That was a pretty dang good commercial. I like. At work we have a lot of users getting the latest and greatest for absolutely no reason (one higher up recently got a Surface Pro 4 completely decked out. I still have to show him how to open his email or something basic like that every couple weeks; very computer illiterate). I wonder how long until I get to unbox one of these babies.

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 00:14

Why would your target audience for your $3k computer be starving artists?

Chasaboo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 00:19

No one will buy this thing, no one.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 00:42

idk much about displays since I’ve never bought one except in 2008, but are there displays that deliver quality like this MSFT is trying to deliver at 22 inches?

RyanFrew > CB
10/27/2016 at 01:19

Sorry lol. Passionate subject for me. A decent laptop is $2k these days. $3k seems super fair in my eyes.

CB > RyanFrew
10/27/2016 at 01:27

It’s cool, no worries. I just always compare all-in-ones to desktops, which is probably unfair.

RyanFrew > CB
10/27/2016 at 01:31

Understandable, but definitely unfair. That’s why I made the V6 Mustang comparison. If it’s just about computational power, this is a terrible deal. But you definitely can’t find a desktop with this kind of aesthetic appeal, form factor, and additional functionality for this price.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 02:56

I’m generally an Apple guy; I vastly prefer iOS to Android, but this made me really want a PC.

UserNotFound > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 08:51

Dude those renders of the CAD parts coming together were freaking awesome .

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time
10/27/2016 at 09:24

Works for Apple

Pistol Whipped Cream > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 12:13

$3k for a PC is a Ton. (Mac Guy). My 27 in iMac was only $1799.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > ttyymmnn
10/27/2016 at 21:05

I became a little obsessed with the music, and it appears not to be the Fiona Apple cover.

As best I can tell, it’s by a band called “Flannel Graph,” and sadly this is the only place I’ve found the extended mix they used (part of) in the commercial. So as thanks for your many thoughtful enjoyable posts, please enjoy:

ttyymmnn > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
10/27/2016 at 21:18

I’ll listen when I get out of rehearsal. I listened to Apple’s version on the Chipotle ad. Absolutely haunting. Thanks for doing the research.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > ttyymmnn
10/27/2016 at 22:19

Considering all you put into your aviation posts, this was nothing. :-)

I liked the Fiona Apple version as well.

ttyymmnn > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
10/27/2016 at 22:44

Thank you. I appreciate that.

wiffleballtony > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
10/27/2016 at 23:42

I’m sure it’s great, but it loses everything I want out of a platform that I can change the hardware on.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > ttyymmnn
10/28/2016 at 01:06

Here’s the closest version I can find to actually buy. Not as cool and swoopy though:

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B01KTH86F4/

ttyymmnn > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
10/28/2016 at 01:31

Your post has led me down a rabbit hole of research into the original song, covers, etc. The movie came out when I was 8 years old, and I was reading the book at the same time. I don’t know whether I was inspired to read the book by the movie or vice versa. So, this song resonates with me. It’s late, and I’ve had a beer or two, but I’m going to put something together about these covers in the next couple of days. It’s pretty fascinating, actually. Wilder’s is still the best, but Fiona Apple comes in a very close second for musical reasons I’ll explain later. For now, listen to the song from the movie, and pay close attention to the harmony in the background. It’s subtle, yet powerful. The soundtrack was nominated for an Academy Award.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > ttyymmnn
10/28/2016 at 01:52

I will!

And will look forward to your post.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > ttyymmnn
10/28/2016 at 16:27

It’s been a long time since I watched the original, and I had forgotten Wilder’s expressiveness. He seems almost...melancholy? at times.

ttyymmnn > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
10/28/2016 at 16:45

Good catch. Remember, the whole point of the Golden Tickets was to find somebody to take over the chocolate factory for him. He’s getting old and tired. Another thing that is so terrific about the performance is the pacing. He doesn’t sing it in strict time, and allows himself moments for physical movements. Jazz players call the silence in a solo “space,” and it’s probably akin to good comedic timing. And Wilder certainly had that.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > ttyymmnn
11/20/2016 at 22:36

Okay, the truth is out...the “Pure Imagination” cover used in the Microsoft Surface Studio ad isn’t the Flannel Graph version, it’s this one, which you can now download (minus sound effects) for free:

http://stephanietarling.bandcamp.com/track/pure-imagination-surface-studio-cover

Sorry for the little misdirection.

ttyymmnn > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
11/20/2016 at 22:44

Thanks for the update. I never did get back to this.

McMike > DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time
11/25/2016 at 10:09

Why do you think they’re starving?